9 Lessons I’ve Learned From My Mum

I think we all can learn something from this!

Living With No Excuses

1. Take everyone with a pinch of salt
Not everyone will be to your liking. People have said that I see the best in people and this isn’t necessarily the case. I’m far from naive; I’ve been taught that giving people the power to annoy me will not benefit me in the long run. There are situations that could have turned out the complete opposite, but I refused to let people get the better of me. Of course there are times when this is hard to do, I am only human! Accept differences whenever possible and keep it moving!
salt2. Every spoil is a style
There have been a few times I’ve questioned my mum’s outfits, although she wears her clothes well! My mum responds with her famous line “I paid for it, it’s clean and I didn’t rob anyone. So I will wear whatever I want”. Wear whatever you feel comfortable…

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Father’s Day

I’m really struggling with this holiday this year.  My husband’s dad, along with my brothers’ dad, have passed away within the last year.  The worst thought now, is my oldest niece just lost her dad yesterday.  My heart is breaking for my family.  It is rather bittersweet; I still have my father.

I cannot fathom the pain my husband, brothers, and niece are going through with Father’s Day being tomorrow.  I just want to cry.  It makes me want to run to my Dad and hug him.  I want to snuggle up to him and be his baby girl again.  Alas, my dad lives about 2,000 miles away.  Not a day goes by that I don’t miss him though.

While I grieve for my family members’ losses, I am still very appreciative that I have my Dad.  My Dad is amazing man.  He has always been there when I needed him.  He came to my college graduation and gave me away on my wedding day.  I cannot imagine my life without him.  I think I would be completely lost without my Dad.

The hardest thing for me, personally, at this time, is that I have not yet made my husband a Father.  Despite all our efforts, we have not been able to get pregnant without medical intervention.  Infertility absolutely breaks my heart.  I know my husband wants to be a Dad; I want to be a Mom so bad that I have cried over it.

As of November 9th, 2013, I know that my father-in-law will never get to hold his first grandchild.  I still cannot imagine what my husband is going through as he celebrates this Father’s Day without his Dad.

Not only am I grateful for my Dad, but I am grateful for my brothers.  These men are amazing Dads.  My brother, Brian, is a fantastic Dad to B and T, and is an incredible grandfather to B’s little man, C.  My brother C, is a wonderful husband to J and I cannot wait for their family to be created!

My brother Rob is an amazing Dad to D.  I love seeing their special bond as D grows.

I’m not sure I can say anymore about Father’s Day.

In hopes of achieving Fatherhood and giving my husband a reason to celebrate Father’s Day once again…

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Lists

I like lists.  I typically have about 3 or 4 going at once.  It’s nuts.  Most of them are grocery or to-do lists.  Heck, I have a list of every DVD I own.  It’s not a bad thing; it’s just part of my OCD nature.  I haven’t let it get too extreme though (yet).  I have a feeling that it will get very obsessive eventually.

Currently, I have a list of house cleaning that I want to accomplish this weekend while my husband is visiting his mom.  Don’t laugh, it’s the only time my house will be spotless for a few short hours.  But it will get done (hopefully).  My house isn’t a complete disaster; it just needs to be better and the crap needs to be disposed of (mostly magazines and random mail).  I don’t have the energy to clean the house when I get home from work at 10pm.

I also have a list of a project that I’ve been toying with for some time now.  Details to come later on that.  It’s in a “hush” status right now.

Now, my third list contains music.  Whenever I hear a song I like at work, I add it to a list of music that I want to download eventually.  I don’t buy CDs anymore; it just isn’t worth it anymore to accumulate physical items.  I don’t have the storage space for more things as it is.  Same goes for books.  I have a list of those going too.  I’m a bit of a voracious reader (hey, Rob!  I finally used “voracious” correctly!)

Today’s list looks more like a schedule!  Wake up, workout, take care of special customer at TMW, come home and shower etc., and then actually go to work.

Yes, my love of lists in a nutshell.

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I pray this changes your life

Chris Martin Writes

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For some, the Bible can be an intimidating book to dig into. Its pages reveal a history of days past, with practical application for the here and now. Every word inspired by God Himself, penned by the hands of mere mortals. It contains stories, not of super-human people with amazing powers or special abilities that no one can possibly measure up too, but of real people. Just like us. Human beings who were lost and without hope until a Savior was sent to shed His blood on a tree.

Chris Martin has written I Was There in such a way that it has the potential to impact everyone from the most seasoned theologian, to the lonely teenager sitting in the back of a Sunday service. Each story is presented from a perspective of the main character, giving insight into their deepest feelings and emotions. You don’t merely…

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Foregoing…

My IVF doctor suggested that we do genetic testing to ensure the chances of a birth defect are minimal and possibly for gender selection.

Pause for a moment…

No.  I think it’s unnecessary testing and a waste of money.  Why?  Because I don’t care if my child is missing a limb, has Down’s, or any other type of birth defect.  God is in control and if He puts me to the test, then He will get me through it.  Now I do not fully understand what it means to have a child with special needs but it is a child nonetheless and deserves to be loved.

I just want to be a mom to a tiny human that I have created with my husband.

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The Debt Dilemma

I mentioned in a previous post that I read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover during my Vegas vacation.  It has resulted in many things.

The first thing I did was cut up all my credit cards.  Right after I did this, I received an email that said I will be receiving a new card in the mail in a few days.  My old one had expired.  You can bet as soon as I get it, there will be some cutting.  I feel some relief in my actions by doing this.

The next step is to pay off the cards from lowest to highest balance due.  I’m looking forward to the day when I make my LAST payment on my student loans.  Those are the highest debt I have!  Hate them!  I’m looking forward to the day all my debts will be gone.

In the meantime, I’m going to a “cash only” policy.  If the cash is gone, then I don’t need it!

 

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The Good Diet

After a week in Vegas, it’s time to get back on track with food.  I ate and drank myself into some really tight pants.  I feel like the Sta-Puff Marshmallow Man and I have more rolls than Sara Lee right now.  Although I never achieved complete inebriation (not a feat I was attempting!), I did drink enough to lose some of my senses.  I also found myself at a couple of buffets and consuming a lot of bad carbs.  Eh, it was my birthday week!

Now, I promised myself that I would get my crap together and fix my food issues.  It’s starting right now.  No, not tomorrow.  No, not next week.  RIGHT NOW.

The deal is to go to a mostly vegetarian diet.  When I do have meat (chicken or beef – I’m allergic to seafood and soy), I want to make sure it’s “hormone-free”.  I’m trying 100% grass-fed ground beef for the first time tonight.  How do I know it’s 100% grass fed?  I am under the impression that the FDA regulates the labels on the meat grocery stores sell. (I bought it at Sprouts.)  At least the label says it’s “100% Grass Fed”.

Tonight’s dinner is spaghetti squash with meaty spaghetti sauce and a summer ribbon salad.  The salad is a cantaloupe, zucchini, and prosciutto with a mustardy-wine vinegar dressing.

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It is delicious!  I sampled!  I always sample the new recipes I make otherwise how else would I know if it tastes good?  I’d never want to serve someone a bad dish!

My good diet will consist of no sugar of any sort, except Stevia, no breads/pastas/rices, and nothing artificial.  I want to focus on how I feel rather than what a stupid scale says.  I also want to not have to buy any new clothes for at least a year.  My new financial plan doesn’t make allowances for retail therapy.

My goal is to look good at my sweet friend’s wedding!  It’s less than 90 days away!

Failure is not an option.  The only goal to have is the one where you get up every time you fall.

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Taking Notice

Vegas was awesome.  It’s really not something that should take a week to experience though.  A week is simply too long.  We spent plenty of time just relaxing in our room.  I did thoroughly enjoy the heat!  A “girls weekend” is being planned for the future.

I learned a lot about myself and the things I want in the future.  I also read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover and started listening to NPR.  Does that mean I’m a grownup now?

As dangerous as it is for me physically, we are putting off IVF until the money can be raised in full.  That should give us some time to pay off some things and save up.

We have a financial plan in place that should give us some peace.  L has to stick to it with me.  It is a mutually agreed upon plan.  We hope to set up a budget in the next week or two.  It’s long overdue!

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What kind of stranger are you?

It took me a moment to remember the last time anyone was kind to me.

I was at the gas station getting something to drink for a coworker and myself.  I opened my wallet and realized that I had left my debit card on the table at home!  Duh, I knew better.  I was disappointed at the prospect of leaving without at least my coworker’s drink.  I had also left my lunch at home so no money meant leaving without a snack. (I have since learned from this incident!)  A man who was waiting for his friend, stepped up and handed the cashier $3.  “This should be enough,” he said, “it’s all I have left from my lunch.”  I was floored.

Very rarely are people this generous.  I thanked the man.  His parting words to me were, “Thank Jesus.  It’s His money.”

Today’s post brought to you by the Daily Prompt and the letter, “G”.

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WOW! Does the craziness ever stop?

I have not posted because it’s been a very busy few weeks.

Sad news is, fundraising isn’t going as well for me as I have seen it for other people.  I’ve been called “selfish” for asking people for money, others have insisted since we’re doing fundraising that we pay them despite previous agreements, and I’ve also been told to “wait and save up”.  I think I need to address each issue.

1.  Asking for help in paying for something this huge is not “selfish”.  I’m not asking anyone to give up their life savings or to not feed their family for a week.  I’m asking people to think about the time I bought Girl Scout cookies, donated to some sports activity, contributed to their fundraiser, and things like that.  I know for a fact that I’ve given so much to others over the years and because I don’t have children (yet), I’ve not had to ask for donations for this activity or for them to buy something for Boy/Girl Scouts.  I’ve been pretty selfless over the last 20 years helping other parents with their children.  So, have you thought about that and how $5 can help us?  I know someone who is raising $600 so their son can play football. A mass email was sent out about it and someone commented about how if everyone sent a couple of bucks, they would have the football money in no time.  Nobody has ever sent out an email like that to help us raise funds for IVF.  Makes L and I feel less important in achieving our dreams.

2.  This is time belongs to L and I.  It’s not a time for others to ask us for money.  Granted, we do owe some people and we haven’t forgotten it.  Unfortunately, paying off a couple of people have now put us in a bind.  Our savings has been depleted and we cannot continue with the IVF.  Unless we can get an additional $2000 saved up.  That puts our fund raising at $9000 instead of the original $7000 we are trying to raise.  We were about 1% of the way to our $7000 goal.  This is depressing.

3.  I talked with my Grandpa about the “wait and save up” for IVF comment.  He said, “HELL NO!  You don’t have time to wait.  You’ve been ‘waiting’ too long as it is.  Hell, Grandma and I have been waiting too.  We want to see you and L have a child before we die.”  I almost cried on the phone.  Age does not make it easier to have children.  Getting older means less of a chance for children.

I’m working 2 jobs to try to make this happen.  This means my stress levels are high and that makes it even harder to have a baby.  L is looking for a second job too.  That means we will hardly see each other.  Life might be easier if I didn’t have to pay $2000 a month in student loans but life is what it is.  There is no place to cut corners in our life financially.  We got to a decent spot then everyone started asking for money.  It’s been hard and I haven’t complained until now.  Then again, this is my blog and I’m entitled to whatever I feel like saying.

I’ll add the fundraising options again.  I know some people don’t like giving without getting something.

Origami Owl

Scentsy – If you host a party, the proceeds from it will also be donated to our IVF fund.

IVF Fundraiser

If you want to donate to us directly, please message me and I’ll give you our address.

 

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