Father’s Day

I’m really struggling with this holiday this year.  My husband’s dad, along with my brothers’ dad, have passed away within the last year.  The worst thought now, is my oldest niece just lost her dad yesterday.  My heart is breaking for my family.  It is rather bittersweet; I still have my father.

I cannot fathom the pain my husband, brothers, and niece are going through with Father’s Day being tomorrow.  I just want to cry.  It makes me want to run to my Dad and hug him.  I want to snuggle up to him and be his baby girl again.  Alas, my dad lives about 2,000 miles away.  Not a day goes by that I don’t miss him though.

While I grieve for my family members’ losses, I am still very appreciative that I have my Dad.  My Dad is amazing man.  He has always been there when I needed him.  He came to my college graduation and gave me away on my wedding day.  I cannot imagine my life without him.  I think I would be completely lost without my Dad.

The hardest thing for me, personally, at this time, is that I have not yet made my husband a Father.  Despite all our efforts, we have not been able to get pregnant without medical intervention.  Infertility absolutely breaks my heart.  I know my husband wants to be a Dad; I want to be a Mom so bad that I have cried over it.

As of November 9th, 2013, I know that my father-in-law will never get to hold his first grandchild.  I still cannot imagine what my husband is going through as he celebrates this Father’s Day without his Dad.

Not only am I grateful for my Dad, but I am grateful for my brothers.  These men are amazing Dads.  My brother, Brian, is a fantastic Dad to B and T, and is an incredible grandfather to B’s little man, C.  My brother C, is a wonderful husband to J and I cannot wait for their family to be created!

My brother Rob is an amazing Dad to D.  I love seeing their special bond as D grows.

I’m not sure I can say anymore about Father’s Day.

In hopes of achieving Fatherhood and giving my husband a reason to celebrate Father’s Day once again…

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