Breaking the Silence

There’s been a lot going on and a whole lot of nothing at the same time.  In my silence, I’ve learned that I should rely on others for the support I need when life becomes difficult.  What are those difficulties, you ask?  I’m not sure.  In the last 2 months, I have been demoted (thanks to a manager who didn’t like me), moved to another location, and have searched for a new job.

The aspect of a new job has gone well thus far.  I am on my way to achieving one of my dreams.  I am not ready to disclose details of my new position just yet but I am excited and I know it will be much better than what I’m doing now.  I have a lot of support in the new position and it will be AMAZING!

I’m still struggling with my weight.  I have a great group of friends who have been magnanimous with supporting my fitness goals.  It has been a 10lbs battle.  My goal is to lose about 50lbs.  Truthfully, I’m just searching to find happiness with myself as a person.  Nobody ever said that loving yourself was easy.

Now, for the difficult part of my life.  I’ve been struggling with the pursuit of having a baby.  I know I can get pregnant.  It’s been proven.  It’s just hard to put my fertility in someone else’s hands.  I need to blog about this and face it openly.  It’s emotionally difficult.

There you go, you now know what will be coming soon.  Have you enough?  Much love.

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3 Responses to Breaking the Silence

  1. Heather says:

    Sounds like a lot on your mind for sure!

  2. It’s true, for some of us self-love is harder to achieve than self-respect; and its endemic presence in both of our lives is curious indeed. I’ve often asked myself whether to blame nature or nurture for this aspect and found myself unwilling to go farther, because if nurture then that just leads to another question.

    Instead, I’ve found that those moments when I’m happiest with myself come in the wake of intentional and truthful self-inspection and reflection. I say, “look where I am. Did I really expect to get this far, scrapping it out as a minimum-wage, low-end suburbanite?” That’s a good place to begin. Find the small wins, and once you hit the end take what you’ve got and blow it out of proportion in terms of its importance, because we are our own worst critics and we’re probably short-changing ourselves quite a bit anyway.

    In the end, happiness comes from a choice, whether you choose it quite deliberately or whether it’s automatic. Choices are funny because some will make one easily while another wi come to make that same choice only after a lot of exhausting mental work. I think we fall into that latter category when it comes to being happy is all. It gets better if you practice being happy more often and in spite of things not working out.

    So, long story short: just be happy.


    • The more I think about my happiness, the less I blame others for my unhappiness. I’ve made my choices and I cannot fault anyone else if it has caused me to be unhappy. For me, I think I just need to find balance and live life as best as I can.

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