Time After Time

As I celebrate my 43rd birthday, I reflect on the days gone by.  I have lived so much, done so much, yet never quite enough.  I  sit back and watch my young daughter playing and think about how grateful I am that I can keep up with her.  If I had given birth to her 15 years ago, I would not have the same opportunities I have now with her.  My physical body was quite different back then; I was not the happy, healthy person you see before you.  Instead, I was this gigantic beast of a tiny woman.  I weighed over 300 lbs.  The turning point in my life was in 2003, when I was told I was headed to the grave.  I could not leave my child without her mother!  I had made the difficult decision back then to go under the knife – gastric bypass surgery.  What I didn’t understand about this operation is that it was only a tool.

The surgery helped me to get my weight down below 160 pounds.  After marriage, I gained about 70lbs back.  I wasn’t as fat as I once was but I still wasn’t happy with my body.  Giving up the foods I loved would prove crucial to my weight-loss success as well as change the way I viewed myself as a person.  I didn’t like myself, let alone love myself when I weighed over 200lbs.  I was obsessed with Hollywood’s imagery and feeling the mental angst of being unable to achieve my dreams.  I knew that focusing would eventually pay off for me.  Now my weight is at a healthy, normal level and I can do things I couldn’t do before!

Here’s the caveat:  I have achieved most of my dreams!  It’s been a long road of ups and downs but I have a beautiful family now and my bucket list of activities has dwindled down.  Please, let me reflected on all that I have done in the last three years; I’ve been all over the world, gave birth to a beautiful little girl, ran a marathon, and auditioned for a major movie.  That’s quite a few accomplishments!

The old saying goes:  If only I knew then what I know now.  I don’t wish for my old self.  I just wish I had done it sooner.

This post was prompted by today’s Daily Post prompt.

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10 Responses to Time After Time

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  9. Well, I hope I see you there!

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